2019 & Me: A Journey
Not sure anyone has noticed that I have a link called Ebay Store at the top of my site (or left menu for those on mobile) and if you have you might find it odd that once you click on it there are so many fancy items for sale. As in, how is this spiritual?!
That’s because I am preparing to leave Amsterdam, the place I called home for the last 4 years, sometime near mid summer. And I am selling everything I have apart from books and records and home appliances that I am gifting my parents. Other things will be donated too. I have too much stuff that I bought out of addiction and trauma and there is no longer room for any of it. However I am blessing these items with a lot of loving energy so they serve the person who gets them next. I am not interested in profit here, so if you see something you like you can just make an offer (Unfortunately I am unable to ship outside the EU).
The goal is to leave with a couple of suitcases of stuff to leave with my parents and one neatly packed suitcase as my nomadic traveling buddy. I am going into the unknown and I felt very clearly guided into doing this with a light body, spirit and routines. Everything in my life is being simplified and returned to a natural state.
The crazy thing is, I quit my job last year and I have old debts to pay and bills and… none of it seems to matter. Online healing work doesn’t bring consistent earnings (yet) and I hate stressing about money so I realized that there is no point to it. Yes I am traveling with my best friend and my godson but I am also not someone that enjoys leaving others to stress over money either. I am the kind of person that would very much appreciate if you could please stop stressing and freaking out around me. It’s a no. I have always valued a decent amount of control. But even that has been asking for me to release it.
And traveling like this has terrified me for years, proof that it’s something that will really change my life and that I must absolutely do. I don’t know what’s out there, only that it’s an important door to open. I have always moved to other countries with a lot of planning and with a job, to stay for years, etc. This is different. This is really a leap of faith.
I am also starting a 5 month deep cleanse and body transformation (I need to shed the energy of the city, of the time I spent coddling myself and postponing what had to be done, the co dependent relationships, the pain I let my body carry for me) that consists of vegan/ plant based/ natural food diet, fastings and detoxes, with core body energy work. My intention is to achieve a lighter energetic state, cut addictions to food, prepare myself to a new lifestyle. Please note that this is not the first time I do fastings and cleanses or have tried plant based or fruit diets. I have progressed into this more disciplined approach after many years of trial and error. Follow the language of your body, this is what I m doing. I am interested in intuitive approaches.
I don’t know what this year brings in terms of results. I know the challenges and the trials, I know what is expected of me and I know what is important for me to feel. I cannot predict what will be waiting out there at the end of the particular road called 2019.
However there is a certainty here: with open hearts, trust, perseverance, commitment and compassion, great things are achieved. I truly believe that because it’s a feeling that is there permeating everything I do.
I trust that my work will keep supporting me because it reflects me with authenticity and I am not afraid to grow and continue showing up. I trust that I will find more and more beautiful and real connections and relationships with others, because there is no room for anything else.
I don’t believe in failure. I cannot conceive it. I can only feel that no matter how tricky things can seem right now they are no match for what brave, confident women can do.
I can tell you that I intend to be a very different woman by July. I have been feeling her come online for a long time now.