The Woman

I am a Woman who sees. And that is the story.

I could tell you a million things about my past and how I got here.

I could tell you about the abuse. The bullying. The alienation I felt. The despair of not understanding why I suffered so much.

I could tell you about my childhood awakening. About the man I loved before I even met him. I could tell you how crazy I felt when I realized that at 11 no one understood any of the desires I had. That my dreams were too ambitious. 

I could tell you about the lies I told myself and others to keep me safe. I could tell you of all the times I saw and felt so much I thought I was going to die. Of the loneliness. The depression. The anxiety. The thoughts about ending it all. The numbness followed by hyper sensitivity. The night terrors. The screams. 

I could tell you about my hell, but I am sure that you know it because you know your own.

I could tell you all of this, but I don't want to.

I want to talk about Love and what lies ahead, and I want you to do the same. We have spent generations laying crowns of flowers at the feet of nostalgia and building monuments to the past as if only there lived greatness. "Honoring the past". What about honoring ourselves? Honoring our children?

We have existed as if the suffering somehow meant that we could never move past it. We have exhausted conversations about things that we cannot change merely by talking. We have been doing nothing but talking. And it's time we face the truth. It's time to let go. We have to destroy, we have to burn it all. We have to have the courage to start over. 

We have to kill the past. And I am here to assist you in this death. Because we are all going to do it.

I have spoken of my past for all of my present, so much that I have never lived for most of my life because I was not here. I was split between what happened to me and what could happen to me. I was stuck in the idea that I was all of those things. That I was defined by my loss. By my pain.

This is our collective illness. Our attachment to an artificial existence. Our raw and wild selves have been abandoned in a dark corner, and they have come to remind us of their desires. They have come to awaken us.

I have been blessed with the responsibility of a vision that travels across time. I have been given a heart that does not obey the rules of this world, for it knows it is not of this world.

I bring you the place where Love and Death merge, for they always have. I bring you the place where your inner child is liberated. I bring you the womb, the black hole. Freedom to be your most pure sense of self. Your animal self. Your divine self. 

And this is all you need to know about me. I open doors.

I see you. And I want you to release everything that is getting in the way of you seeing yourself. 

The Work

I was born in 83, in Portugal, to a Virgo mom and a Gemini dad. Life was hectic and poor. But my father was not a man to stand still waiting for life (he also started working by age 12), he had 3 jobs and eventually with the 90’s economic boom made a name for himself and started to do quite well. It wouldn’t last long for reasons that would be too long to go into here, but in those days of abundance I started traveling often. My parents also moved a lot and my father was a restless man. He wanted to see the world. That desire lived with me, a desire that fear seemed to eat away at as years went by. So much that I craved to find a home more than anything, to locate the place that was my own.

I have always been a nomad, I don’t think I ever stayed in the same flat for more than 2 years.

Because of this I decided to take a bachelor degree in Translation with a minor in Tourism before I realized that I was too introverted and too sensitive to be able to interact with large groups of people on a daily basis. So at 21 I took 2 suitcases, my last paycheck and moved to Lisbon to find work. In 2 months I was working in Finance as an entry level AP, where I would meet my best friend and current traveling sister. Those jobs would come one after the other, with them more money, more offers of career growth. And more money meant I was always further and further from being brave enough to quit and do something I loved. Something I had no idea what was. After 2008 and the crisis it left both in the life around me and my personal one, I left Portugal in 2010 and moved to Malta. While I lived there I travelled frequently, but I loved that island so much I stayed for almost 4 years. After that Sweden, Finland, some time in Spain, back to Malta and then the Netherlands where I am currently located and will be for another 7 months. After that, who knows.

Spirituality found me because I finally stopped running, because I didn’t want to run. The events between 2012 and 2015 had left me battered and all of a sudden there was a clear knowing that I had to face what I was and what I felt and the work I had to do. By 2017 I was offering readings to a larger audience and starting to develop sessions and guidances based on the work I had been doing before, on the suffering I had overcome, and being a guide for those exploring their inner underworlds. In 2018 I quit my job, I quit it when I was making the most money I ever did, leaving behind stability and a man I deeply cared for. I left forever behind the old living I had pursued for the last 12 years.

Freedom. That’s what I wanted to know. Freedom.

I have always felt energy and I was always a translator but my culture is strict. It feels like bondage. Like a cage. Many like me are awakening to the knowing that we do not have to live this way, that we are trapped in a lie that will only continue to lead us into misery. That our ways of living have been supported because we have shed blood, we have stolen, we have denied the natural world as the reality that sustains us. We are remembering that we are Nature, after so many generations of living as if we were nothing like Her.

My work started as an inner exploration, a reclaiming of my voice. It started as something defined as spiritual, shamanic, holistic. But it no longer lives in those labels alone.

My work is about reconnection, using every part of your life as material to feed your growth, discarding what no longer serves you - but never wasting it. You return it back to Spirit, you make peace with it, to clean it, to use it as fertilizer to a new life.

I do this work so more can remember, more can reclaim, more can resist. Resist the calls for stagnation, for false comfort, for a standardized living.

I have not reached the perfect place and I am not a perfect guru. I can’t and won’t tell you how to live your life. I am someone that heard a calling when she was 11 and took 21 years to reconcile with that knowing and locate the path of the work that needed to be done. I am very human, and that for me means to be a bridge between Earth and the Cosmos. To receive from both Mother and Father, to see the beauty of the body we are and the body we make together.

To be human means to be a guardian of this planet, of this organic life.

Mostly I am interested in working, in being present, in being Loving, in being natural. And those are my commitments.